Guardian

Next year’s def an off year for relationships. At least in my context.

U dun wanna plant seeds and allow for corrosion thereafter. And think, fret, worry incessantly and worst case, have something that u fought so hard for, be destroyed and savaged in a moment’s instance.

So here comes the guardian. Circumstances aren’t going to change much, actions are not expedited, schedules suck and guardian remains. Is it a bad thing? Well, in some weirdo sense, there is one good. And that is the guardian role, minus all the shit contact. I can somewhat guarantee that Xmas will be here b4 u know it, and nothing’s changed. Talking tone is pretty much still nice and after that holding nite, well, can’t blame him for feeling positive abt stuffs. So we wait, anyway if shit happens next yr, I better not have anything now too.

Procrastinations of that night. Many whys, and tiredness is sole justification, at least in my mind. I have convinced myself, but somewhat u wonder if normal, constant repetitions of such will lead to issues. And it likely will, if things remain rigid again as they are. Perhaps comm will help so let’s see, without triggering over the temper tripwire.

Oct’s come and Nov’s not far. Premonitions are strong but we hope to be proven wrong. Mark these words and thoughts. Sigh…