Expectations Trepidations

2 mths and counting. I think in order not to set oneself up for failure, we better address the question of expectations.

Not to expect someone ‘taking u in’. To have that fruitful outcome as desired. To have your happy ending. Musical chairs are abound, but doesn’t mean your name’s inscribed on any of them. Perhaps we have all along been a redundant clog in the wheels of time. A saviour, respite, an alternative voice and some form of emotional support. Always a thin, thin line btw hope and sucker :<

From words, from vibe, any non self-deceiving fool will know that things are in place to act as backdoor for negative outcomes.

Parents, circumstances, etc will make it super long drawn, not to mention caving in to the easier outcome. Of giving in, of closing one eye, of saying forget it and submit to life’s whims. After all, things are in place, pple know pple, and we dun have to re-invent the wheel, do we?

House, relations, past memories, status quo & comfort zone, and acts of pity and love will serve to act against the forces of good. And succumb we might.

And then, it really is no longer a joke. The deeper we sink, the harder we fall. The more we expect, the more devastated we might be. By then it’s really not funny at all. And it’s “thanks for memories, being sweet…. BUT…”

When the time comes, we might have to say it takes 2 hands to clap. Much as part of us will want to attribute some blame elsewhere. We are willing parties in the equation, and an accomplice to crime. We cannot rule out jailtime, and it does seem that that possibility is becoming more and more likely.

Scary, yes. Sad, hell yes.

Better start preparing oneself for the fall, the ride down to hell ain’t gonna be pretty. Not pretty at all.

We try to think we own something. Truth is, we never did all along. We just loaned it out, heck… we stole it out. We know not when time to return will come, but sometimes it pays to think sooner than later. To prepare oneself. It’s just that the choice to think something’s yours makes the process heart-wrenching.

Of what could have been. Of possibilities. Others might say of heartache spared, travesty averted, another dreadful episode avoided. One less heartburn in the journey of life. Humans, we all hope. In hoping, we end up destroying ourselves.

Gambling is never a gd thing. We tend to think we can win… but really, can we?